


Passion and Forgiveness

by JediDryad



Series: February Fluff: 28 Ways Luke and Mara Get it Together at last. [5]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Brotherly advice, F/M, Han Ships It, Lost Love, Luke is in the wrong, Make up sex, Regrets, angst and retribution, being petty, february fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29109744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediDryad/pseuds/JediDryad
Summary: After a night of rage and passion, a broken Luke and Mara go their separate ways. Will they have a chance to mend their rift when Luke needs rescuing, yet again?
Relationships: Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker
Series: February Fluff: 28 Ways Luke and Mara Get it Together at last. [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129439
Comments: 16
Kudos: 41





	Passion and Forgiveness

The stars stretched into starlines and they were safe.

Wincing, Luke slid into the seat behind Han in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon.

“Thanks for the ride.” he offered gratefully.

“No problem,” Han’s answer was easy, “Me and Chewie were doing a supply drop for Leia. How did you get into that mess anyway?”

Luke sighed.

“Long story.”

Han nodded.

“Was Jade with you?”

“No, she showed up when things went bad. They vaped her Headhunter.”

Han whistled, “she lost another one.”

Luke nodded and winced again. He wondered how many Headhunters Mara had lost because of something to do with him.

Mara came into the cockpit carrying a med pack. Her standard issue flight suit looked a little singed and her hair was a mess but she appeared uninjured.

“Rear shields look good, Solo. Thanks for the rescue.” There was a touch of comradery in her voice.

Han waved her off in acknowledgement then raised his eyebrows as she turned to regard his brother-in-law. All appearances of friendliness were wiped away.

She scrutinized Luke’s injuries for a moment.

“You’ll live,” she muttered and dumped the med pack in his lap before stalking out of the cockpit again.

Silently, Luke opened the pack and began cleansing and applying salve to the worst spots while Han looked on amused. 

Chewie chuffed and Han chuckled.

“So, uh, is old Palpatine haunting Jade again?”

Luke looked up, startled and Han shot him a crooked smirk.

“I haven’t seen her look at you like that since she wanted you dead.”

Luke hissed and cringed as he yanked his left arm out of his flight suit so he could reach it better.

“No. This time I deserve it.”

He held Han’s confused gaze for a moment. Realization dawned.

“Okay,” the former smuggler said, on an inhale.

“Kriff, kid. You have some sort of death wish?”

Luke grimaced as he peeled his other arm out of his suit.

“At the time, maybe.”

Han shook his head.

“Y’know, I always knew there was something between the two of you. Figured it could be pretty good if you ever managed to get over yourselves.

What the kriff happened?”

Luke sighed.

He thought back to that day at the academy when everything had been going badly. She’d said she was leaving. She’d done it in front of the whole class so he couldn’t intervene. He’d found her later to see if he could change her mind. They’d fought. Mara knew how to find weaknesses and exploit them. Usually Luke was able to recognize her tactics and ignore them, but right then he just couldn’t. Struggling with the academy had sapped him of so much of his good humour that he couldn’t just take her damning judgment in stride.

He’d spun on her and accused her of things that weren’t true, things that were borne of his own insecurities instead of reality. She’d flung them back at him with acid bile that burned his spirit and set something ugly on fire.

And the fight shifted into something primal and passionate. He remembered her teeth, sharp against his throat after kisses so heated they’d have melted Hoth. He remembered the welts her nails had raised on his back and arms after he’d slammed her into the wall of her student suite, rammed into her as though he could convince her with his body if he couldn’t do it with his words. She’d met his every move, growling his name between cries of pleasure. Together they’d clawed at wounds, emotions neither of them could give words to running amok until they were both shattered.

Broken.

And then she’d left. He hadn’t chased her. What could he say? Whatever friendship they’d had was laid to waste that night, fragmented to dust.

She’d shown up now and then, usually at the moments of greatest necessity. She’d bring some important information, or, like today, appear just in time to shoot down a few attackers and take the rest out with her lightsaber while he struggled with consciousness. 

She interacted with him as little as possible during these brief visits. Sometimes he hadn’t even known she’d been there until long after she’d gone. Those were worse, somehow.

When they'd first met, Mara had glared at him with the same sort of anger masked pain she favoured him with these days, but that hadn’t really been about him. Now it was, and just how much that hurt, never ceased to surprise him.

But that wasn’t all.

Shortly after she’d left, the first holos had made it into the galactic tabnews. Mara and Lando Calrissian had struck up a romance. Whenever he was feeling particularly blue, inevitably, there she was on screen, flitting around the galaxy in a sleek new ship of Lando’s, stepping out with the ladies’ man at Coruscant gatherings and on luxury cruisers. She was caught on camera at glittery parties, dripping with jewels, and wearing a sharp smile that pierced his heart like a zenji needle.

But then, he deserved that.

He didn’t answer Han.

Instead, grabbing the tweezers, he lifted his undershirt slightly and began picking small pieces of transparisteel out of a gash under his right rib.

“Uh, you want to numb that first?” Han was looking concerned now.

“Not particularly,” Luke muttered and his brother-in-law let out a long breath.

“That bad, huh?”

Luke nodded and hissed through his teeth as he dumped the last piece in a bag. In silence, he applied a bacta patch and sealed it in place.

“We fought,” he said finally.

Han nodded in anticipation

“I said terrible things.”

“That’s why they call them fights.”

“No, Han. I lied to her.” he said finally.

Han pursed his lips, “About what? Your hidden family on Chandrila? She already knows all your secrets.”

Luke sat forward and buried his head in his hands for a moment, rubbing his eyes.

“About the dark side.” He shuddered, “ And her. I told her that it was the dark side that made her want to leave and that I could sense it. I warned her it would dominate her life forever.”

“Fierfek.” Han said quietly, and Chewie’s growls were obviously scolding.

“I know.” Luke sighed, sitting back again, “It was just after Kyp left the first time. Everything was going wrong and she told me she wanted to leave too. I lost it. The academy was falling apart all around me. I could sense the dark side, but not around her…

I took it all out on her.”

Han raised an eyebrow.

“She gave it back pretty hard. We were an ugly pair.”

He looked down at his scraped hands and knew that when he looked up again, his misery was obvious.

“It was the exact opposite of anything I would have ever wanted.

Just razed everything.”

Han opened his mouth and closed it again. He held out his hand for the med kit.

“Go make it right.” He said simply.

“I don’t know how.” Luke’s expression was as lost as it had been when Han had met him in that cantina all those years ago.

“You love her, right?” There was no question in his voice.

Luke nodded. That much had become clear to him, not that it helped.

“So, do what you do when you’ve hurt someone you love. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Apologize. Grovel. Whatever it takes.”

“Like you did with Leia?” Luke muttered sarcastically.

“No,” Han answered, narrowing his eyes. “I was too proud to do that. So instead I freaked out, kidnapped her and almost lost her. It would have served me right if she’d married Isolder instead. I made things much harder for myself. You’re smarter about this stuff than I was. Don’t make my mistakes.”

He sighed and looked pained. 

“Besides, She seems to be doing some sort of ship wide inspection, and I really don’t want her doing that. Go distract her from it.”

Luke chuckled at Han’s suggestion. As though either one of them could distract Mara from something she was set on doing. All the same, he took a deep breath and stood up.

“Leia was never going to marry Isolder.” He said as he tied his flight suit around his waist.

“And Jade’s not sleeping with Lando.”

Luke froze mid knot.

Chewie’s chuff had a mocking edge.

“Trust me.” Han said in response to his skeptical expression.

Luke thought about it for a second and then nodded to himself ruefully. Of course. He was an idiot! He could feel a grim smile drift across his face as he turned and left the cockpit. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t too late.

He found Mara midship, running some unnecessary diagnostics on the comm console.

“All patched up,” he started cheerfully.

“Get out of here, Skywalker. I’m busy.” she growled in response.

“I wanted to say thank you.” he started.

“Skip it,” she snapped, “We get along better when we both pretend I was never here.”

He contemplated her for a minute.

“It’s a small ship. You can’t avoid me forever.”

“I don’t have to,” she replied tartly. “In two days we’ll be on Tierfon and I can connect with Karrde’s people.”

“Lando won’t come and get you sooner?”

Her smile was pure acid.

“Lando’s more of a core world kind of guy.”

Luke’s nod relayed exactly what he thought of that.

“Why did you come in the first place?”

“You needed help.” she replied simply. She returned her attention to the lines of results flowing across the screen.

“I did. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

She twitched, a hard flicker in the Force.

“It should.” She bit out, glaring at him.

He nodded thoughtfully.

Her sense grew icy.

“Of course, it wouldn’t for you. Would it? I’m tainted forever by darkness, eternally lost in selfishness and evil. It’s really for the best that I’m a mercenary.”

She turned back to the console.

There was his opening. She hated him anyway. She may as well do it for the right reasons.

“I lied.” he said quietly. She stood a little straighter, but didn’t turn around.

“I’ve never ever thought those things about you. I’ve never doubted that you could do good in the galaxy. I wanted you to be a jedi because you could be one of the best.

He suddenly had her full attention.

“What?”

He looked to the floor. Her eyes burned into him. He took a deep breath and met her gaze again.

“I lied. I pretended to think less of you than I do. You were going to leave. Gantoris died, Kyp went dark. Your criticism was fair. Things were bad and I couldn’t figure out how to fix them.

“You needed a team, Jedi.”

“I know, and I got them after that. Part of me knew that, and knew that you’d be a great member of that team. You choosing to leave felt like a betrayal. It hurt. I wanted to hurt you back.

I’m sorry.”

When her surprise wore off, the expression it left behind was not any of the responses he would have expected. She seemed to be contemplating him calmly, almost analytically.

“You insulted my character because I chose another path. The jedi master has a petty streak.” she said quietly.

He nodded.

“I haven’t seen it before.”

“I’m not particularly proud of it.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she agreed. For a moment, something in her gaze appeared to soften. Then she flattened her lips into a hard line again.

“I’ll take that under advisement,” she said finally, “Now go away.”

He could feel her start to close in on herself again and shook his head slightly. He wasn’t giving up this opening, no matter how small.

“Will you tell me why you came today?”

There was a flare of emotion again.

“I came to secure my corporate interests. The Triellus Trade Route is more stable when the jedi master is alive.”

Prepared this time, he let her sarcastic vitriol flow over him and fade away. She was trying to protect herself, he knew.

“No you didn’t,” he answered tenderly.

He could tell that was the last response she had expected.

“I shouldn’t have come,” she muttered to herself. She glared at him “Then, or now, or any of it. I shouldn’t have.”

He smiled, wondering how he’d ever gotten so lucky as to have someone like her in his life. Someone would came to help even when he had blown their friendship into a million pieces.

“I’m glad you did.”

She snorted bitterly, “how nice to be wanted.”

“I love you.”

Okay, that came out too soon.

He watched her eyes widen and she seemed to rear up like an animal backed into a corner.

“Like hell you do!” she blasted him. For a long, terrifying moment, the Force seemed to scream around them. Luke held firm as the emotional whirlwind rose and fell, his gaze never leaving hers.

“How dare you lie about that!” her voice was a deadly whisper, her hands clenched at her side.

“It’s the truth.”

“I don’t believe you!” She spun on her heel and stalked towards lounge exit.

He met her in the doorway, blocking her way.

“Leave me alone.”

He smiled softly thinking of the warm passion that underlaid her rage.

“I know you love me too,”

She backed away from him, eyes glittering, and he could feel her tighten her shields.

“How insightful of you. I hardly need to be part of this discussion then.”

“That’s why that night hurt you so much. Hurt us so much.” 

She scoffed, “Oh that’s right, there was so much to destroy between a self absorbed jedi and the woman soaked with darkness who harboured a secret plan to destroy him.”

Kriff, had he actually said that? No, he was sure he hadn’t. Somehow that was what she’d heard though.

“You should be glad I left.”

“But you kept coming back.” he reminded her.

“You kept getting into trouble. Don’t try to make it something it’s not.”

“Is that what you’ve been up to with Lando?” There was a whole lot more emotion in his voice than he’d planned on letting out.

He barely caught the moment of stunned silence before she arranged her face into an expression of smiling contempt.

“Now, that’s none of your business.”

He nodded.

“It’s not, but you knew I’d ask about it, eventually.”

The contempt fell away.

“No, I didn’t.” she said quietly.

“Oh come on!”

The obviousness of it hit him all at once. 

“You go off and start attending parties with the galactic glitterati, pose for photos at lavish affairs and expect me to think it’s normal for you? You hate being the centre of attention. You prefer dark corners whenever possible, and at venues without a weapons check.”

“Took you long enough.” she snapped hands clenched at her side

“So you did want me to ask.”

“I didn’t expect you to need to!” Her eyes flashed in anger, and she threw her hands up in the air in sheer exasperation.

“I’m not with Lando. I was never with Lando. It was a cover for a mission for Karrde.”

He nodded, uncertain what to do with the way this changed everything for them.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“I shouldn’t have had to, Luke. Your sister and Solo made it clear instantly that they didn’t buy it. Horn took about two seconds to figure it out.

When she focused her gaze on him, her green eyes glittered with betrayal.

“You’re the only one who believed it.”

After all we’d been through, you didn’t know me at all.

The sudden wave of pain that slammed into him then took his breath away. He felt his knees buckle and he half fell onto the bench at the holotable.

She’d dropped her shields.

He closed his eyes and plunged into a surge of emotion. On the surface, he caught her shame and bitterness that he was so consumed by his own problems and mistakes he couldn’t see through her charade. That she was so unimportant to him.

There was a lot more going on beneath that.

He felt her pain, her misery. The shame of changing loyalties in her life even as she’d been sure it was the right thing to do. The fear that he had been right about her: that she was permanently damaged from her childhood, destined for darkness. That she could never do anything good in the galaxy and the best she could manage was to be small and neutral. And that, as a result, she was rightfully cut off from the care or commitment of others.

From him.

He reached out to try to hold her injured spirit.

“No, no, Mara. I’m sorry. I’ve never thought that. Never. Force, never” he murmured over and over. He’d been hitting to hurt, like she always did. He’d said the worst possible things. He’d known that, but he’d had no idea how deep her feelings went, how much he could hurt her without even trying.

He never would again.

He could feel her hesitation, and for a moment, he was certain it wouldn’t be enough. The pain was too deep, and he had let it all fester for much too long. His fear of losing her had been self fulfilling.

He’d made all the wrong choices.

Luke dropped his head in his hands. He couldn’t breathe.

And then he sensed a new openness from her. He felt the doubt and betrayal slowly fade. They turned to tentative acceptance as she slipped into his mind and sensed the truth of his words and the depth of his feelings. Slowly, he felt the poison seep out of the bond they’d always had even when all it had been was pain. He could feel their connection restore: a shining link that he had taken for granted.

It was like the sun rising again at last, and he was horribly afraid she would plunge him back into the lonely night.

“I’m sorry”, he said again, unable to stop the apologies from flowing.

When he opened his eyes, she was sitting on her heels in front of him.

“Me too.” she said quietly, “I took it for granted too.”

“I’m sorry. I was broken. I was scared. I...”

“You were a lot of things.” She replied, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

“And I didn’t know how to help. I just knew how to tell you what was wrong.”

Luke slid over to give her room on the bench next to him.

“You were so cut off, so cloaked in your Jedi Master aura, you didn’t seem like the same person. But, the only way I know how to get someone to drop their defenses is by pushing at pain points till I get a reaction.”

She frowned sheepishly.

“I guess I got a reaction.”

Her expression became rueful.

“I probably deserved that reaction.”

Luke felt shame seep into him. 

“I’m sorry about that too.”

Mara looked at him for a moment and then a faint smile crossed her face.

“No. I don’t think you have much to be sorry about there.”

He felt his face grow hot.

“That’s not what I meant.”

She was still smiling.

“Did you really want to add angry sex to the dimensions of our...relationship?” He was incredulous.

“Best I’ve ever had.”

He kissed her then, gently. He slid his arms around her back and pulled her against him as he felt her begin to soften into his embrace. He wondered if he would ever stop being surprised by her ability to be hard as durasteel one moment and then flow around him the next.

He knew he would never cease to be amazed by her.

They pulled back for a breath and her hands reached up to his face with an uncharacteristic hesitation.

She whispered his name in disbelief at his train of thought.

He nodded and leaned in again, brushing his lips against hers as he murmured, “I love you. I probably loved you on Myrkr.”

“No wonder you annoyed me.” she said quietly, kissing his nose. “I hate when people fall in love with me while I’m just trying to murder them.”

“Why is that?” he whispered in her ear as he brushed his lips down her neck. She tilted back to allow him better access and he cradled her head in his hand as he explored the delicate skin on her throat.

“I don’t want anyone thinking that well at blaster point.”

“I’m not thinking at all right now.” he breathed as he pulled her to him again. tugged down the zipper of her flight suit.

“Good,” 

She bit his ear as they slid to the floor.

They were caught up in their shared passion, aware of nothing but each other as they rolled under the holotable, stripping clothing piece by piece until skin met skin and bodies came together with no less heat, but much more care than they had on Yavin.

With a cry of pleasure, Mara sank on to Luke, watching his eyes soften and his back curve as he drove up into her, sliding his hands up her body to caress her breasts . She threw back her head with a whine and almost hit the table above them as they moved together so Luke rolled them over and pinned her under him without breaking the rhythm. 

He stroked her nipples and sent shocks of pleasure to her centre. She tightened around him, matching his thrusts with her contractions until he thought he might actually go mad.

Then finally, when he was on the cusp of release, he pulled out and rolled Mara onto her knees. Then, he slid into her from behind, an angle guaranteed to hit her most sensitive spots. As he resumed his rhythm from before, he brought his hand under her to caress her clit, and she shrieked out his name as she convulsed around him, her spasms of ecstasy pushing him over the edge with her as he groaned her name into her shoulder and spilled inside her.

They seemed to be floating together somewhere outside thought and speech. Then, slowly the reality of the Falcon’s lounge coalesced around them again, the underside of the holotable in clear view above them. Luke didn’t want to think about how long it had been since anyone had dusted under there.

Pulling Mara onto his chest, he reached out with the Force to a storage cabinet across the lounge and tugged a scratchy grey blanket over to cover their cooling bodies.

He could feel her heart beating against his as she absently ran a finger up and down his arm. Then she pulled away slightly and reached over to a bundle of wires that wound around the leg of the dejarik table.

“These two are frayed and almost touching. They could have started a fire.”

“You noticed that..?” Luke was mortified.

She shot him a scathing look as she slid across his body to take a closer look at the short waiting to happen..

“No, Farmboy, I just noticed now. I was trying to make myself useful, you know. Before you barged in and...distracted me.”

Luke flushed remembering Han’s directive.

“What is it?”

He gulped, “I was just thinking that I don’t always give Han enough credit.”

“Well if it’s about his ship maintenance abilities, he doesn’t deserve any.”

“Nothing like that.”

“Spill it, Jedi.”

“Marry me, Mara?”

She sat up then. Eyes flashing. Naked. She took his breath away.

“Oh, what Solo did must be really bad if a marriage proposal was the less scary option right now.”

“Does that mean you won’t?”

“What did you two laserbrains do?”

“I just remembered that he wanted me to distract you from your ship inspection. I told him I didn’t think I could manage it. I was right.”

“Ah, is that why we’ve had all this privacy?”

“Yeah, Han’s probably hoping one of us will come to the cockpit to assure him we didn’t kill each other.”

Mara’s grin was malevolent, “I should go up there and say I threw you out the airlock.”

Luke tugged her back into his arms and she came willingly, hands sliding across his shoulders. Lips finding lips.

“Does that mean you’ll stop?,” she asked, a thread of insecurity weaving into the tapestry of her emotions.

“Stop what?”

“Trying to distract me?”

“No.” he wound his fingers around hers. 

“I plan to be as distracting as possible for as long as you let me.”

“Really?” she said with a raised eyebrow and smile.

“Yes”

“Then I’ll marry you.”

It was Luke’s turn to be disbelieving.

“One one condition. That wherever we live, we have an actual bed. We haven’t had sex in one yet.”

He chuckled and kissed her again.

“Are you sure, though?,” Luke asked, stroking her hair, “Do you think you’ll be able to give up Lando’s ship?”

She looked at him confused, “What ship?”

“The modified yacht with the custom paint job.”

She shrugged, 

“Oh, well the answer’s easy. I don’t have to.”

“What?”

“The ship is mine, not Lando’s”

Luke looked quizzical.

“Did you think I was going to bring my baby to rescue you when the odds were good someone was going to try to blow me out of the sky?” 

“We have some catching up to do.”

“Yep,” she grinned and pulled him close again, “But, apparently we’ve got time.”

Luke nodded as he fitted his mouth to hers.


End file.
